I did a show at the Westwood Brewing Company last week- (it's a big UCLA party bar). During my set, I was talking to a a couple girls in the crowd about what college is like these days- it's been a while for old lady Miracle! The kids told me that on the UCLA campus, there is a particular area called "The Rape Trail." Apparently, a lot of women have been raped in this area, and women are warned not to walk alone.
This is appalling to me. Not only because women are getting raped on the UCLA campus, but because they are BRANDING it!
AND if we're gonna brand it, can we get a better name than the RAPE TRAIL!???
I mean really. Are there signs?
You are now entering Rape Trail
Elevation 2507 feet, 4.3 km
Pack out what you pack in! ("NO litter" symbol)
Don't Feed the Bears
Bring your pepper spray!
Rape Trail makes it sound almost inviting, and that is WRONG people!
I don't care how pretty it is, I am NOT hiking the rape trail!
I don't want to run a race called the "Rape Trail 5k!"
I don't want to take pictures along the Rape Trail!
I don't wanna walk along the trail and learn about the history of rape! (ala the Freedom Trail in Boston).
I don't wanna go on a scavenger hunt on the Rape Trail, because guess what you're gonna find? Talk about ruining the surprise.
I think I can speak for all of us- COME ON UCLA- Let's change that name huh?? Or stop letting all the rapists in.
That is all.
I need to go on a walk!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
WHAT I’VE LEARNED THIS WEEK
Okay....these experiences have occurred over TWO weeks, but I crammed all the actual LEARNING into one week.
1. You can't put a price on a good bra that will hold up your girls. Well, actually you can, and it's $72.00.
2. When I actually make it to the gym, all I can think about is that EVERY inch of that place has saliva and/or sweat all over it. And when I am done working out, I forget about it....until I'm eating something with my hands. Note to self: buy hand sanitizer!
3. My need to explore the the LA area divided by the number of friends who can actually go with me equals, "the answer is NO, I haven't been to (name of place/restaurant/hiking trail/beach) yet."
Note to self: Get new friends! (just kidding) Go anyway!
4. I've used "Actually" in the first three entries on this list. I need a new adverb.
5. When you drive to Calabasas to get your taxes done, you realize that traveling pays. Take that Denver accountant that thinks acting is a hobby! Put my huge return in your church play pipe and smoke it!
6. I still love Denver, but it loves me a little less each time I go.
7. Taco Bell is a lot like Denver.
8. My true joy onstage comes from hosting a show- because then I can tap into my improv muscle as well as my joke muscle. (insert joke muscle joke here).
9. If you get a really old ring from your dear deceased grandmother....and you find out it was purchased at ZALES, can you really call it an heirloom?
10. When 4 coworkers go out for drinks after work, disperse at 8pm to do separate things, and all reconvene at 11pm for 4 more hours of drinking, laughing and game playing, it feels like they have been commissioned to be a group of superheros. Just call us the "PORN TEAM DRUNK FORCE."
11. When your "separate thing" is a bad first date....you have a LOT of funny stories to bring to the "PORN TEAM DRUNK FORCE" table.
12. If a guy calls you "dude" 50 times within 10 minutes, you should probably marry him.
13. Rape Trail. (this one deserves it's own entry)
14. Superheroes do not have time to clean the bathroom or cook the meat that's been in the refrigerator since Saturday. (Sorry Dennis!)
15. Craigslist is a VERY bad way to try and meet normal, quality guys in LA. VERRRRY BAD.
16. Conversely, Craigslist is a VERY GOOD way to meet married guys pretending to be single and then receive emails from their pregnant wives.
17. YEAH. I know. Thank God I didn't actually meet him in person....WHAT A DOUCHE!! (please no Lacy Peterson, please no Lacy Peterson, please no Lacy.....)
18. Craigslist personals has increased my comedy material by about 45%. Thanks boys!
19. I'm doing a show called Prom Night on Monday (see my profile pic- it's the poster), and I'm contemplating wearing my prom dress. Hopefully this time around it won't bring tears.
20. Things that I put off are usually not as difficult as I think they will be. (ie, taxes, getting my bike fixed, resolving friendship drama, going to the gym). JUST DO IT!
21. When I get bumped out of the money spot on the bowling team because I'm a GIRL, I get mad enough to beat all the penis holders. You can all suck on my 151 average bitches! (And now my strategy is to not bowl for two weeks so my average stays high!)
This was a long one, but I learned a lot this week people! Thanks for reading!
1. You can't put a price on a good bra that will hold up your girls. Well, actually you can, and it's $72.00.
2. When I actually make it to the gym, all I can think about is that EVERY inch of that place has saliva and/or sweat all over it. And when I am done working out, I forget about it....until I'm eating something with my hands. Note to self: buy hand sanitizer!
3. My need to explore the the LA area divided by the number of friends who can actually go with me equals, "the answer is NO, I haven't been to (name of place/restaurant/hiking trail/beach) yet."
Note to self: Get new friends! (just kidding) Go anyway!
4. I've used "Actually" in the first three entries on this list. I need a new adverb.
5. When you drive to Calabasas to get your taxes done, you realize that traveling pays. Take that Denver accountant that thinks acting is a hobby! Put my huge return in your church play pipe and smoke it!
6. I still love Denver, but it loves me a little less each time I go.
7. Taco Bell is a lot like Denver.
8. My true joy onstage comes from hosting a show- because then I can tap into my improv muscle as well as my joke muscle. (insert joke muscle joke here).
9. If you get a really old ring from your dear deceased grandmother....and you find out it was purchased at ZALES, can you really call it an heirloom?
10. When 4 coworkers go out for drinks after work, disperse at 8pm to do separate things, and all reconvene at 11pm for 4 more hours of drinking, laughing and game playing, it feels like they have been commissioned to be a group of superheros. Just call us the "PORN TEAM DRUNK FORCE."
11. When your "separate thing" is a bad first date....you have a LOT of funny stories to bring to the "PORN TEAM DRUNK FORCE" table.
12. If a guy calls you "dude" 50 times within 10 minutes, you should probably marry him.
13. Rape Trail. (this one deserves it's own entry)
14. Superheroes do not have time to clean the bathroom or cook the meat that's been in the refrigerator since Saturday. (Sorry Dennis!)
15. Craigslist is a VERY bad way to try and meet normal, quality guys in LA. VERRRRY BAD.
16. Conversely, Craigslist is a VERY GOOD way to meet married guys pretending to be single and then receive emails from their pregnant wives.
17. YEAH. I know. Thank God I didn't actually meet him in person....WHAT A DOUCHE!! (please no Lacy Peterson, please no Lacy Peterson, please no Lacy.....)
18. Craigslist personals has increased my comedy material by about 45%. Thanks boys!
19. I'm doing a show called Prom Night on Monday (see my profile pic- it's the poster), and I'm contemplating wearing my prom dress. Hopefully this time around it won't bring tears.
20. Things that I put off are usually not as difficult as I think they will be. (ie, taxes, getting my bike fixed, resolving friendship drama, going to the gym). JUST DO IT!
21. When I get bumped out of the money spot on the bowling team because I'm a GIRL, I get mad enough to beat all the penis holders. You can all suck on my 151 average bitches! (And now my strategy is to not bowl for two weeks so my average stays high!)
This was a long one, but I learned a lot this week people! Thanks for reading!
Monday, April 7, 2008
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