WHAT I'VE LEARNED THIS WEEK

WHAT I’VE LEARNED THIS WEEK

What I've learned this week:

1. I'm losing friends from Myspace. People keep disappearing from my Friends List. Are they disappearing from real life too? Did their husbands take them in a fishing boat and dump their bodies in a lake? Did they flee to Mexico because they were featured in a "To Catch a Predator" report? Were they appalled at the porn/cartoon promo I sent out in a mass email this week? Who knows. But it hurts.
2. I tried to change my signature yesterday. I was signing an "official letter" to a mucky muck type person, and I realized I hate the way I sign my own name. SO, I practiced a new one for about an hour. See....I've always been indecisive. When I was younger, just learning how to sign my name in cursive, I could NOT decide which way to do it. I would do it one way for a few months, with certain "A"s, and a different loop in the "L"...then I would change it to be a different angle, or a different height on the H's and the M's. But yesterday, it hit me. If I can't decide which way to sign my name, which is a pretty basic expression of myself, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!? It could mean that I am truly an artist, unable to confine my creativity to one "style," or maybe it just means I'm gay.

(sidenote: I am indecisive about other stuff too. Like no donuts or three?)

3. I know WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY too many Libras. My dad, my ex-husband, my ex-boyfriend, and about 20 friends. Weird. I love them. I probably shouldn't date them. Especially my dad. That would be gross. Mostly because he's dead.

4. I am a high-maintenance friend. Come to my show! Come to my other show! It's okay if you can't come to this one, there will be another one in two days! You'll get an email! I think it's time to get my Road Manager Jerry back, so he can do the dirty work. And people are always asking about him anyway.

5. When you burn the VERY tip of your finger....the skin gets really weird right there. I might have join the circus. LIZARD FINGER LADY!

6. I need to cash out my IRA to pay my bills. And that might be a bad idea, considering I won't get as much money as I would have 6 months ago, or as much as I would if I waited a few months. And maybe I will personally hurt the economy by pulling out my real money. BUT even though I don't really understand what the bailout is, I am not running for office. And I definitely know what newspapers I read. Palin, you can suck a (blue, newspapery) bag of dicks.

7. I passed my Groundlings Lab. Yay! And more importantly, I made a bunch of new funny friends. Double yay!

8. The girl on the cover of the October issue of Playboy looks like she has dirt on her *PANTY ZONE* Come on Playboy. Maybe if you had a better editor, you wouldn't be going under.

9. The Biggest Loser makes me cry. And I love watching it while I'm eating. It's my little "eff you!" to reality TV.

10. Chris Parnell makes me laugh even when he's sweating. I saw him walking around Silverlake the other day. I love him. Not in the psycho "go to his house and wait in the bushes" way. More like the "laugh at him after he walks past you" way. He's funny.