GIVE ME A FAHKING DONUT (and a kebab?)

For those of you who have lived here all your life and don't know...

or perhaps you know, but choose not to admit...

Or MAYBE you know, and love it, and think you're NORMAL.

IT'S NOT. YOU'RE NOT. YOU. NEED. TO. STOP.

STOP eating DONUTS at a place that sells kebabs.

STOP opening donut shops that specialize in the "donut/PAD THAI COMBO MEAL"

STOP pretending that it's normal for a city to have 1000 donut-slash (INSERT WEIRD ETHNIC FOOD THAT DOESN'T GO WITH DONUTS HERE) shops! There is one on every corner. and sometimes TWO in the same strip mall. But that strip mall has no parking unless you are wheelchair-bound. And in that case, you get a free donut, some Saag for the road, and an American flag. I mean really.

I thought everyone was gonna be a vegan or macobiotic out here. NOpe. They are just obsessed with sugar, MSG and parking a mile away to get it.

If only the "gas n' hump" concept had taken off....