THANKS FOR THE BABY!

I have been given a baby by the generous city of LA, and I'd like to say thank you!

It's one of those babies that actually looks old- it's going bald, and it looks like it has been through a LOT. But on the inside it's shiny and new, and full of silly things that babies do- (like not knowing the alphabet), and it shits itself at the most inopportune times. awww it's so cute. People keep saying that too. "what a handsome baby!" "Can your baby do my taxes?" and "Happy Yom Kippur, Baby!"

I don't think the baby is jewish. but thank you anyway!

This baby just showed up one day, and it needed a name. So I'm gonna call it "GEORGE." And if someone wants my baby to drive them to dinner, I'm gonna go with it. I just hope the baby doesn't grab its wiener and pee in its mouth before we get there. You can get a ticket for that shit here.