THINGS I'VE LEARNED WORKING ON THE CRUISE SHIP

1.There is such a thing as "ship goggles."

2. Things I'm not allowed to do sound like more fun than they actually are. (gambling, bingo, humping passengers)

3. Just because it's a STARBUCKS doesn't mean it's cockroach free. (I wondered why the Banana-chip Frappucino was chunky).

4. One dollar beers don't make the crew bar fun. (so far the crew bar is only fun if you're Filipino, a smoker or a slutty dancer.

5. When the hot personal trainer tells you you're too fat to run, it feels like love.

6. When a stranger sneezes on me, my auto response is 'UGGGGHHHHHHH!" Loud enough to make both of us feel bad.

7. When you're getting questions from the audience, and some drunk bitch yells, "I have a question; when does the comedy show start?" Try not to choke yer