WHAT I BOUGHT AT WAL-MART

Damage at Wal-Mart: $92.81

Items bought: around 30.

Favorite finds:

1.magnets (our walls are magnetic- brilliant). PS. Magnets are the hardest thing to find in Wal-Mart. Hint: don't ask anyone.

2. Ice bag (on account of the pain)

3. Snacks, snacks, snacks. I'm gonna be REAL busy for the next few days.

4. Oatmeal (I keep waking up too late for the breakfast buffet-poor me- so this way, it's breakfast whenever I say it is, dammit.

5. A HEAVY-duty sports bra- labelled "for HIGH IMPACT" that keeps the girls in the cage real goodlike. (Although...technically it makes the girls into just one girl. But the UNI-BOOB ain't goin no wheres.

6. A mustard bottle (like you'd find at hot dog stand) that allows me to transport a manageable unit of laundry detergent to the horrifying laundry room (a mile away). I know. I'm a genius.

7. Febreeze. Lysol wipes. cough drops. Analgesic. L-lysine. Because I'm not getting sick on this freakin' germ can.

8. Poster board & GOOGLE-Y eyes (to compliment the glitter that I borrowed). Oh hell yes I did.

9. Glue sticks. (How do you think I'm gonna attach the glitter and the google-y eyes to the poster board? duh.)

10. Colon Cleanse pills. (Thank you all for your concern. I'll let you know how it turns out).

Wal-Mart: Hate you. Love you. Need you in my life. But only until I can find a Target. Then I'm kicking your right wing ass to the curb.