WHAT I'VE LEARNED THIS WEEK

1. Funerals can be funny.

2. Doing a comedy set after a funeral can make you feel like a comedic genius and the worst person in the world at the same time.

3. When a family member asks you to sign an autograph at a funeral (and has you sign on the back of a cardboard pantyhose insert) you have truly made it.

4. Late night closure talks with ex-boyfriends can be very enlightening and liberating. THANK YOU. You are excused.

5. I spend too much time living in the WHAT IF rather than in the NOW. Just enjoy it douchebag!

6. NO matter how much food I buy at the grocery store, I never feel like cooking any of it when I get home.

7. Gayle and Oprah secretly hate each other after that road trip (do you see the way they look at each other now?) You can't spend that much time in a car with a good friend and not hate them by the end. MARK MY WORDS: THEY ARE GONNA BREAK UP.

8. Being around people that make me laugh is essential to my survival. Even if I am laughing at them.

9. My new Motto: PATIENCE: TRY IT NOW!