THE NEW BLOG BLOG

I have been contemplating what to write a blog about for about 3 weeks. A lot of important people are reading this, and I do not want to disappoint. I have posted SIXTY-NINE blogs. So number 70 better be good, right? I am under a lot of pressure here guys!

So until I figure out what to write about, I thought I'd give you a list of the things that I've been considering. A few subjects that I've been chewing on, or masticating, or digesting, if you will.

You can chime in on your favorite- or you can just ask the universe to send me your request. Who knows, maybe the brand new blog you ask for will be delivered under your tree along with a new bike. Shhhh...it's the secret.

1. What's in my purse today

2. My favorite things to say to Patches, the new dog I'm walking. I'm convinced that you can say anything to a dog in a "good boy!" voice and the dog will think it has just cured cancer.

3. Things to do in Burbank with five dollars and chest hair.

4. The story about me getting groped by a porn star. ..

5. Weekly bowling highlights- which might include the following:

Conversations overheard "on the back line."

The best "bowler jabs" of the night

"What I ate at the snack bar."

6. Things I've shamefully googled

7. A video of me doing yoga (secretly in my room)

8. An updated version of "LAUNDROMAT OF FUN"

9. Things that have/haven't changed in LA in five months

10. Drunk texting

11. Ways to tell that LA is the BEST place in the universe to do comedy

12. Awkward things to discover in your desk

13. The story about how google is a cock-blocker.

14. How to spend $60 at Vons and have not one complete meal to show for it.

15. The story about how I met the guy from that show that got cancelled, and how I (in under five minutes) gave him a compliment and shattered his dreams.

16. If you can't get a guy to touch your naughties in real life, do it on stage!

17. My editorial piece on Circuit City (hint: it involves an external hard drive and a bag of dicks)

18. The story about the day I walked the picket line with KEN OBER. (hint: my calves still hurt).

19. SMALL GRAVY!!! (a new show that's coming to a theater near you- if you live near the theater)

20. The Gorilla Glue experiment



Hearts and farts,

Miracle