NIGHTMARE AT THE POLLING PLACE

NIGHTMARE AT THE POLLING PLACE

HAPPY VOTING DAY EVERYONE!

I had to walk three whole blocks to my polling place- The Little White Church in Burbank, so it's called. In addition to a normal sized sanctuary, this "Little White Church" also has a gym, an office that looked more like a ticket window ("Step right up! Get your tickets to the God show!"), a crib room (gross), a Fellowship Hall (the room where pot lucks are neither organized or enjoyed), a rose garden, a long hallway of classrooms, a library (shouldn't there only be one book??), and a mysterious staircase leading to a second floor, or maybe it was heaven. I wasn't sure because the lightbulb didn't work.

Despite the misleading name, it was a nice place. Enough wood pannelling to choke the '70s, but still....nice enough. The line wasn't very long, and there were NO women in line. At first I thought that was odd, but then I forgot about it, because I remembered that the Biggest Loser is on tonight. YAY!

As I walked to the end of the line thinking about what I was going to eat while watching TV later, I was stoned. I mean people starting throwing stones at me! A man literally spit on me as I walked by, and when I got to the front of the line, another man ripped up my ballot in my face while all the volunteers yelled "BLEEDER!" and "WITCH!" It was incredibly scary.

Just kidding. I was surrounded by nice, intelligent people. (well, unless you count the meth-head lady who would not shut up about how she needs to get in and out in 20 minutes because she has kids counting on her to be there on time). YIKES. But for the most part, people smiled, laughed, and were generally in a good mood. They felt like they had a voice!

There were mostly women in line. I guess a lot of the men were at home watching football? Several of the women were on cell phones, bluetooths, (teeth?), and blackberrys, conducting BUSINESS, making plans, getting shit done. There was a lovely old man and woman in matching red windbreakers, holding hands. The man helped his frail wife sign her name, seal her drop-off ballot before they walked home, hand in hand. The feminist in me was screaming, "LICK YOUR OWN ENVELOPE LADY!" but it was still pretty cute.

And after I successfuly ink-blotted my way through the ballot, I got my sticker and walked out, head held high. I voted! I hope I marked the right things....

I thought about all the people that don't vote, because they don't think their vote counts. And that made me sad. Everyone should vote, because above all else, it is FUN! I got to take a morning walk, see the inside of a church, listen to people's phone conversations, see what REAL love (and matching windbreakers) looks like, get a sticker, AND I got to be late to work! It was pretty cool!

And to top it all off, on my walk back home, I saw a man walking a Chihuahua with an American flag hankerchief around its neck. I KNOW!

Even the dog is proud to be an American today. I just hope he marked the right things....