BLOG CHALLENGE 3- An Open Letter to Bitches

An Open Letter to Bitches:

Dear (insert your bitchy name here)

Haaaaaayyyyyy gurl! How are you?? I am okay, but who cares, right, because it’s ALL ABOUT YOU! I really like what you were wearing today-you looked super hot with your thong hanging out, and HOLY self-tanner on the midriff! It’s not even SPRING yet! Nice work. If I were you, I would totally buy myself a wine cooler, or play "poor and thirsty" in the middle of a crowded bar. So much fun to watch the guys clammer to buy you a fruity drink!

Speaking of Spring...I cannot WAIT to see you driving down the freeway in your cute yellow convertable (thanks Daddy!), with the vanity plate (2QT, IMHOT, YURIDE, etc). I bet it takes a lot of product to keep your hair looking so good after all the wind. And the way you change lanes without using your blinker, while talking on your cell phone and blaring your bubblegum pop.....it’s so super cute! You should have your own reality show.

Any time you wanna hang out, let me know. I could SO use a marathon of the OC or Tila Tequila- I know one of the producers. Or maybe we could go to movie and talk on our cell phones the whole time. I would totally be down for a trip to the mall- we could steal a parking space and then laugh about it as we walk into the mall wearing our juicy sweat suits- the ones that show off our tramp stamps!

oh...you have to go? Oh...I see- you have to call your rich banker friend back, because he’s gonna fly you to Aspen for the weekend. Wow. That sounds fun! I hope you don’t have TMJ...that can totally put a damper on the shopping. by the way, if you get sick of buying things for yourself, I love jewelry! haha

I’ll see you around. Stay awesome!

*kiss* *kiss*

Michelle