BLOG CHALLENGE 7- THE LAST EFFING ONE.

CONGRATULATIONS- YOU MADE IT!

Seven days- Thanks for powering through with me. It helped a lot. This is the last one for a while-but right now, I cannot think of ANYTHING to write about! ugggghhh. If I had known I was gonna blow my wad on the pigeon, I would have enjoyed it a little more.

I’ve spent a LOT of time in Silverlake/Los Feliz recently. I’m starting to feel like I live there. I gave someone directions today, and I signed up for the Silverlake news email list. Before you know it, I’ll get a dog and stop taking showers.

I saw "Real Women Have Curves The musical" today. After it was over, I felt proud of my body and my latina heritage.

OH-I finally figured out HOW to get on tv- All I need to do is assemble a group of "dancers" on par with a high school talent show, make coordinating "streetworn" (aka shredded) outfits and sneakers, and be able to hold a microphone. Look out, LIVE AT THE APPOLO- here I come!

When people say "I feel like I’ve told you this story before" I always want to say,"No, you haven’t told me this story before...but I’m a little sick of "I feel like I’ve told you this story before." Broken record broken record. (this was funnier out loud).

One tragic repercussion of working out...(well, let’s be honest- it was more "walking fast or uphill" than working out) is that I sweat between my boobs. Does that happen to you? And if you’re wearing a sports bra...that means that you sweat in the middle of the UNIBOOB, which is hard to deal with in mixed company. Sweat makes you itch people! And while guys can go around and adjust and/or scratch the sweat itch whenever or wherever they want, women have to be a little more dignified about it. The UNIBOOB SWEAT ITCH requires the two handed tackle. One hand to hold the sports bra away from the skin (those suckers are TIGHT!), and the other hand to dig in the crack of the uniboob and go in. If you are an expert at this move, you might say something like, "Oh my god, I think I see a coyote over there!" and then swiftly dig between your boobs and get the blissful release that only comes from scratching the uniboob sweat itch in the "money spot."

If you are an amateur, you might say something like, "oh I am sweating like a beast!" or "my boobs itch, don’t look!" while going in. This always ends with your walking partner getting a money shot of you with your hands in the cookie jar.

Speaking of cookie jar- can we all have a moment of silence- Girl Scout Cookie season is officially over. Now I can stop "accidentally" going to the bank on Saturday mornings, and pretending to be surprised that they are set up with a table and two tons of cookies, wearing their cute patches and yelling their sales pitch to strangers.

We don’t give a shit about the cause Sally, just shut up and sell me some Samoas!