MY PERSONAL BLOG CHALLENGE

Okay sugarnuts,

I’m gonna challenge myself this week- I’m gonna write a blog every day. I know....it’s a little excessive. And who really cares? But I need to do it- I haven’t been writing a lot of comedy lately, and I’ve been a bit of a Debbie Downer (WANH WANH). So I’m warning you- these next seven blogs might suck. But just know that it will be theraputic. And simply by reading them, you are preventing me from jumping off the proverbial comedy ledge...and I know how you like to feel helpful.

Thoughts of the day:

1. Fake Beef strips = DIRGE. No matter how much sauce you put on them, or how many vegetables you shove in your mouth to mask the badness..they still taste like crap.

2. NO hot water= cranky Michelle. Leaky hot water heaters= water damage to the only things I own. Does anyone have a garage where I can put some boxes that WON’T be damaged by random flooding??? Pretty please?

3. Daylight savings time is cool, because you can get outside and and walk around your neighborhood, or around the "lake." Also with so much light, you can see your attacker’s face!

4. My mom is out of the hospital, which is good. I will still have to go there a few times with her while I’m in Denver. But I’m totally gonna pee on the building. Luckily, one of the security guards who works there is a big fan of my comedy, so I will totally get away with the peeing.

5. I love it when a guy thinks he is flirting, but he is just repeating things back to you in a "suggestive" tone.

Example:

Him: So...what are you up to?

Me: I’m driving to Hollywood...ughhh it’s so hot outside today.

Him: Yeah...it’s really hot outside huh?

Me: uhmmm...yeah. So it was fun to see you the other night. Thanks for coming to the show.

Him: yeah...it was fun wasn’t it?

oooooookkkkkaaaaaaaayyyyyy buddy. I do not know what to do with that. GIVE ME SOMETHING. Anyway, obviously there is more to that story, but that’s all you’re gonna get sugarnuts!

It will be better tomorrow. I hope.

(WANH WANH)